Reality TV Drama, Science Geeky Stuff and Presents!... None...

Well hello there!


How are we all? Apologies are in order as I've been a tad preoccupied with my fathers surgery. Everything went well and all is good!


So I'm having a real hard time understanding the need for the reality tv dramas!
We have had shows such as: Made in Chelsea
Towie (Geordie Shores)
Some other one
and now Desperate Scouse Wives?!!?!?!
WHY!!!!!!
It really annoys me that people are becoming famous and getting paid millions to be on screen, with no acting ability, with the most annoying personalities and faking it so much but are doing well for themselves.
Now don't get me wrong, well done to them for doing it, but the number of people that watch it and think it's real is incredible! Do people not have enough drama in their own lives?!
Why do people like watching it?! (rhetorical)
I know, I know, humans are curious and stupid and nosey, and love people being put into turmoil, and are all the flaws you see written in the list of sins but what was wrong with sitcoms and dramas on television? Eastenders, Coronation Street , Emmerdale, Hollyoaks and I guess I'll put in Waterloo Road.
Yes I know it's cheaper, to do "reality" tv dramas like said shows, but the fact that people will always say how bad it is and still watch it...
WHY?!?!!?!
ARGH!!!


Ok rant over, and time to go over to some better news, as I'm typing this up Liverpool have gone 2-0 up against Aston Villa courtesy of Bellamy and Skrtel.


More news of a new planet being discovered that maybe inhabitable! yay! New planet to ruin! :D


Another planet in the Kepler-22system has been found to be habitable! However further readings are required to check whether it is actually habitable, IOW, whether we could even stand on the surface or just sink right through to the core and die...
Click here for a more clearer story.


So we have a new camera that records Photons moving.. DAMN!!! light is essentially made of photons moving and bouncing of objects and into our eyes giving us the ability to see objects. Well now this camera has the ability to see these particles!!! can you image how smooth the slow motion video would be!!!!
For a full story check it out here


And continuing with the Science!!!
"Higgs Boson Particle! How did you not get that!" 10 points for whoever got that one! leave your comments below and I will give you a hug :D
Anyway, the possibility of the particle existing has come to light as the scientists at the Switzerland Hadron Collider found bumps on the graph that shows the possibility of the "God Particle" existing.
What does that mean? That's right! I have no idea...


And we yes it is Christmas which means only one thing!!! More suicides, more debt and less christmas lights..?


Apparently Christmas time has an extremely high suicide rate with many people finding themselves not able to participate in the fun of gift giving and become more depressed due to high debts.
People are going further into debt with more companies willing to lend money and with the Christmas festives, more people are considering it.
question is, what's wrong with making a present? Charity shops have brilliant little things that you can put together to make something rather than having to spend a fortune. Also the spoilt little kids that demand extortionate priced gifts for xmas. The number of parents just willingly say ok to their kids after they ask for ridiculous presents such as PS3's, Xbox's and Latest Apple products rather than considering their own financial position. Seriously? A 10 year old kid is currently controlling you?Well done, you succeeded! Now I'm not saying every family is like this but it's scary how kids can get their way these days.
However fair to them, I would have tried the same. Shame my parents were Chinese and very traditional. I wasn't even allowed down to the park that was only 2 minute walk from home 'til I was 14 -.- no joke...




Anyway, that is my random pile of crap for the day, Merry Christmas and I shall see you later!
Andy Lai, Signing Off!

Jobs Aren't the Only Thing Not Coming Along...

Hello and welcome to a rather late blog!
For those who are not a regular reader, this is a new revamp of my previous blog..


So last time I spoke about the lack of jobs and now lets say those are not the only things not happening in this week and so on.
Last week we saw the world turn upside with the craziness of black friday, everything going on sale with ridiculous reductions on everything, but in England... not as insane as everything was still expensive anyway. Except that which was already useless and cheap anyway...
Other things
We saw a huge rise of protesters around England over the pension and there were some animals that got stuck up a tree. Not kidding....
And Pandas are on their way to Scotland, Edinburgh Zoo!!!
AND


Oh and hello to my Nigerian friends! Thanks for checking this out... and most likely read it and left... :(
I guess I should mention Xmas is round about this time of year too right.. HELL YEAH!!!!!


So first off, long time no see, well not that I've ever seen you guys but how's it going nonetheless?!
I've started a temp job, not the most exciting of jobs I can assure you, BUT it's keeping me occupied once or twice throughout the week and getting some kind of cash in the pocket. Not a lot, but enough to start saving from.
I'm heading off to university, hopefully Birmingham City University in 2012, (if the world doesn't end) and starting a masters which will cost me a ridiculous amount of money and cause me to have a tumour if not a hernia. However if this does not happen, I shall be heading to Sunderland University as I've already been accepted but the Birmingham City University has a better course and seems more connected into the media.


So working at o2 for a temp position, it's been fun so far! Staff are great and o2 aren't that bad!!
Not using product placement or anything, or any form of advertising but it's just been fun learning about the different things. Also The phones, slowly getting the hang of it and all I can say is NO ONE LIKES THE BLACKBERRY.
Everyone that has come in with a broken phone is always a blackberry! They keep switching itself off, it dies, it doesn't react anymore, nothings working. The usual.
And I know one little lady friend of mine who had gone through about 7 of them in less than 6months and is still happy to get another on, time and time again... Do you not get the idea!!!! IT HATES PEOPLE AND APPARENTLY PARTICULARLY YOU!!!
So get an android...
Iphone of course is great but it's so much more of a toy for kids than anything, and who is seriously going to be in the middle of town using SIRI???
SIRIOUSLY!..


See what I did there...
woopa!


My question is how many people actually use the Smartphone for more than watching youtube videos, playing games and pissing around with SIRI or webchatting?


"That is the purpose of a smartphone!!" I hear you say, well ok granted that is true but do you need to be watching your screen while waiting for the bus? Was it really worth paying £400 for something you're going to replace in about a years time? Come on! I'm not that old and I still think it's silly being able to do all this on the go because it causes some major distractions!!!
In the next year or so, accidents will increase by 1000%!!! ARGH!!!
Ok maybe not that much but I can imagine it becoming worse.
Also more people will be diagnosed with ADD. (Attention Deficit Disorder)
Means more people will wonder off as they're unable to focus for a normal length of time, just to cut the explanation short.


Anyway gotta stop the rant before it goes off topic and round in circles!!!


So the protesters!! Man what a week! Everyone's going off on one about the pensions, yes I sound ignorant but I'm young and will be until I'm old and realise I need it but to be honest, the times have changed and the pension needs to be changed.


Please can someone correct me if I'm wrong, I don't know the real low down of this whole thing. I'm merely saying what I've been told about the pension scheme in the UK.


Pension scheme started after the World War II to help the people back onto their feet, where the age expectancy was low enough for the government to handle with the money that was coming in.
Now-a-days, with the advancement of technology and medicine, people are living far beyond that age that was set in the past meaning the amount pouring in the pensions has increased a lot through out the last 50-60 years.
Now instead of progressively updating this pension with the times it has stuck thus people are agitated that they're being cut by a huge chunk now. 
Now in those days we lived in extended-family structure where the elderly are taken care of by the younger generation while in these days, we are encouraged to live in nuclear family structures where we only with our immediate families.
This makes it more difficult for those on pensions to live since they are no longer dependent on the younger generation to provide for them while using the pension to help them. Instead they're living in a house on their own which the pension is unable to pay for.
The government was never meant to solely provide enough for the elderly but to help the family take care of their own families.
Does that makes sense? Please don't argue with me, to be honest if that made any sense to you well done because I'm just regurgitating what I've been informed.
Before this existed people survived by providing for the whole extended family. Kind of makes sense doesn't it?
So in the end it's the governments fault right?


On a lighter note! Pandas are going to Scotland! YAY!!!
Finally Pandas will be seen in the UK since... ages... ago...
Anyway! Yeah could be a good thing, hopefully the weather's nice enough for the bears, yes they're bears... remember?

Panda BEARS

A Big Brown Bear...?

Polar BEARS

These are all bears... just to clarify :PGot another rant for next time but I'll leave it on a good one :)
Hope you all have a good lead up to Christmas and hope for a White Christmas :D




Until next time! This has been Andy Lai, Signing off!

And the Jobs Keeping Going... Away... Not Coming....

So another couple of days, another couple of miserable days of not getting anywhere with work, jobs, house hunting, cleaning, showering, brushing teeth, etc.


Here's a bit of self loathing anyway.
So it's been another stressful week, where nothing has actually popped up. No jobs, and I was speaking to a friend who was also in the same spot. We're all in the same spot to be honest, and we're all stressing out but what I found amazing was the number of job vacancies that see you and think you're over qualified thanks to that fancy degree of yours...
There's this problem that they think we won't commit to a job because we're too over qualified and it is too much of a lesser job for us to apply.
We are applying for lesser jobs because we cannot get higher position jobs!!!!
The thing is, if you're not overqualified, then you're under experienced OR! You're under-qualified and over-experienced! What kind of balance is there?!?!?!?!
They're excuse for being over qualified is that you have the option to just up and leave for a better job. True but in these times do you think there are nearly enough jobs for people to do that?!!
Over qualified... I hate that saying now, the degree has got me nothing but rejections saying I'm over qualified.
My friends are also having the same issue, a degree has done nothing but stopped me from getting a job as well as them. I am actually better off telling them I don't have a degree.
If they ask what I've been doing for the last 3 years... In a coma.
Or maybe just been on holiday, away in another country, working with children in a third world country, or lazying about on the couch watching reality tv shows... oh god....
I know right.
So what do you think about the way people are made to reject those who have a degree for lesser jobs? And before you go "what do you mean lesser jobs?" You know what I mean, don't take offence to it, I only mean, the jobs you take as a part-timer. Come on, that is a lesser job right?... I'm digging myself a hole aren't I...? Damn...




Anywho! This week I was also going to talk about clothes shopping and about how I've put on weight I don't fit into any of my trousers any more. But that was already done by my friend Perry at his blog: Perry's Blog


However I'm not about to tell you how I'm going to come up with an exercise regime, eat less fatty food ('cause I love food) and work out like I need to compensate for something... which I do need to but I'd rather not talk about that...moving on!


However I will say, yes you can be skinny and be fat, it is possible. Eat and don't burn that stomach off, equals a lot of fat on the belly with lanky arms.
Kinda puts an image of a cartoon zombie in red and white striped boxer shorts...


nice...


But it is annoying, I have a tiny frame, I'm skinny, I'm the envy of most women, cos I can eat and not put on weight and if I do gain weight I burn it off faster than monkey on fire....
poor analogy I know...
But I cannot build muscle! Honest to god I'm doomed to forever be tiny frail and skinny. Damnit! I'll be an invalid in soon. Only good thing is I can fit in really small spaces like a suitcase or a bag.


Football!!! Or for the American audience, "Soccer".


Actually having spoken to a few of my American Amigos, we have decided that American football will forever be known as Gridiron and football shall be football!
Mainly following Liverpool FC...


Liverpool Beat Chelsea in a 2-1 victory at Stamford Bridge thanks to a superb winning goal by Glen Johnson and a brilliant move by Maxi Rodriguez earlier in the game.


Yay! ^_^


It's a shame Maxi not being chosen over Adam or Henderson, don't get me wrong Henderson and Adam are brilliant but they don't play as well with Kuyt and and aren't able to make the run into the middle when as well as Maxi, he's very good at picking the right time to pop into the box to support and always takes a cracking shot! Kuyt was always been on and off when it comes to consistency but I thought he did well playing along Bellamy and Suarez since they're all very fast paced players, they can keep up with each other and storm through a defence with maxi supporting behind. Which towards the end of last season, he had shown he was more than capable of attacking like a mad man and scoring like crazy!!


But with the acquisition of Carroll, it's put a lot of emphasis to change the game style to feed the ball to Carroll.
Again don't get me wrong, I did have my doubts about how Carroll was going to gel into the team and whether he would fit but he is getting better. Complains a bit too much and blames too much on other players on the field from the way he reacts.
King Kenny has mentioned that the price isn't an issue with what the players can bring and it shouldn't but to be honest I'm still not a huge fan of him. I know he's done a lot for Newcastle but this isn't Newcastle... no offence... much love to the Newcastle fans! Unlucky in the game against Man City, that was always going to be a tough one.
Thank you for all your players, El Toro (Jose Enrique) has been a great addition thanks :D
Can we also have Robert Taylor and Collocini please? :D
Swansea has been in Liverpools eyes as well, with the possible acquisition of Nathan Dyer in January, whether that will happen is yet to be seen. Dyer has been one of the best winger of Swansea in a while and his ability hasn't been unnoticed. However a bit of 12m would be needed to pinch this player.


Tottenham had a good game once again as they took on Aston Villa. A game that saw Aston Villa, not really put up the fight they could have and definitely not attacking the way they can.Tottenham's attack saw them fly 2-0 ahead courtesy of Adebayor leading them to a win quite comfortably, some may say.


Anyway, that's all from me this time!
I'm Andy Lai, Signing out!

Script, Paris, Burgers,Astronauts and owls!!!

Hello Again! I'm Andrew Lai and this is my blog!!
It's not really a blog but a ranting page full of crap :D


So we start off with my friends visit from Paris :D

She came over and I thought, I'd best be nice! So we went around London, as of course this is my country... only to live in... and in the future completely take over but we'll leave that until then... you have been warned! >.<

Anyway, having gotten my arse to London, it turns out her friends been mugged and handbag is gone! Poof! "Sacre Bleu!!!" I don't even know if that's how to spell it.

WE meet up, apologise for the mugging and welcome them to London, then it occurred to me that considering how close I've lived to London and the number of times I have been to London I just don't know London... At all.

They asked, where should we eat? And you know what... I was more blank than a white board... apparently saying blackboard is racist now even though it is more closer to black than the colour of the skin kinda black... I dunno I just get told these things.

So we're running about looking for a restaurant and the most embarrassing thing is we ended up eating at a French restaurant with visiting French people. Brilliant! This doesn't make me look like an absolute douche -.-

They even wanted to go out in the evening, again, no clue! We ended up heading to Camden on recommendation from a friend and we all strolled over, unfortunately all the places were pretty much packed and the only place we found was a club with three floors which turned out pretty good! Yay!

Anyway long story short, got mugged, don't know London, at French food with French in London, don't know London Night life, I'm a terrible host.

And we're off again!

A new script!!!  I am indeed writing a new script for a sitcom sketch thing!! Yay for me!!!

Collaborating with one of the greater minds of the two, a good and closest friend of mine Perry Garland, you can find his blogs on the links here :

http://perryfishoutofwater.blogspot.com/

http://perrygarlmusings.blogspot.com/

Anyway we decided to work on something, can't give away too much or it would be pointless but my life isn't as exciting so I'm making one up and then Making it exciting! That's how my life is... It's so boring I make my life up.

Before we go onto the next subject, I will say this now, I DON'T KNOW POLITICS AND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD TAKE A CHILL PILL BEFORE YOU READ THIS! I don't want to have to reply to complaint saying I'm being a bigot, egotistic, moronic or anything else, I'm speaking as a person that simply reads a little bit about the news. Wanna cook up a debate, go somewhere else!!! Let the people read!!

Onto some interesting news!!! Riots are exploding all over the world!!! 

OH MY GOD!!!!

Yes it seems as though the economic crisis is causing so much panic and misguided youths to cause trouble that I don't really understand the point of the protests. So these riots are going crazy and I'm giving to ask is it all worth it? Some argue that it isn't doing anything but making the government rush into decisions which could ultimately cause more chaos in the future while others are saying, it's nothing but an excuse to attack the government. I say to the latter, the government hasn't exactly been helping themselves and the way money is controlled, used and abused, I'm not surprised.

People have many theories on which countries will survive through all this, and I have to say, it is the third-second world countries. Then Australia.

Third World countries have always been in poverty so lets we can already assume, hardly any change will happen, second world countries have the ability to adapt to change that is of a decline of technology since they're still developing. And Australia... because it's awesome over there!! They still have land that is untapped! They're so proud of having Australian things that they have enough to sustain their own country. Same as China actually, lets face it everything is made in China so can we really be blind to see China's going to be the next superpower and take over the world?

With Japan backing us up... I mean... backing them... up...

Soon everyone will be forced to eat rice everyday and use chopsticks!!!

How'd you like them apples!!! First things first too! We're taking England, you wanted to screw us the most, well we're taking yours first.

Just so people know, the population of Chinese people are actually a fraction of the Indian population in England. They have 1million here, we're only about 400,000... yeah... big difference in reality. Don't worry white folks, you're still up there...just...

And moving on!!

Dutch scientist have come up with burgers in a lab!! woo!!! Except it's costing £200K to make! SkyNews

Amazingly this is one I don't mind money being spent on, what I'm not sure is whether people would eat it. In a world where everything is based on looks, lets face it, something thats not going to look bloody like beef and looks more like a silicon breast implant not exactly going to be appetising.

I'm not saying no to it, I'd gladly eat it if it turns out ok and doesn't give me the craps for weeks on end. I'm Chinese, we eat anything and everything. I mean everything.

Anyone see that comet/ asteroid the other night? no? Me neither, even though it was that close to earth you still couldn't see it, was weird. Anyway NASA want to find more astronauts even though they have no planes.

OK.

Reason being is they want to be prepared! So if you have a degree in Engineering, Mathematics or Science you can be an astronaut!! Apply now and everyone else will die when the world blows up.... oh bugger...

and to end it all off!!! I wanted to give something cute and fluffy so here it is...

OWLS!!!! THEY'RE SO CUTE!!!!!

Simply put you HAVE TO watch this!! And you will fall in love with owls!!

WATCH THIS LINK BELOW!!!! IT'S TOO CUTE and if you don't like it, then you're just a meanie!!!

Watch it here :D

I'll end it there but it's been fun and once again this is Andy Lai, Signing out! :D

Job Hunting Never Was So Easy!!!... Yeah right!!!!

So another week flies by with the look at over 1000 jobs and only a few relevant to the career path I chose and I'm beginning to think, sales executive is going to have to become my new career path OR recruitment executive jobs.


Every website and every place you go to it is the same story, plenty of sales executive jobs!! Loads of recruitment jobs!!! Not to say they're not real jobs but they're really not the career job I'm looking for yet they come up regardless of what you type into search!!!
Oh how fun this has become -.-
Applying for what I am hopeful for but trying to save up for university is becoming a drag and a disappointment. Finding a sponsor is also impossible at the moment making my life rather difficult but I guess that is what you get for picking a career in Film and Television, hopefully this masters can at least boost my abilities and chances to find a job in this recession ridden hell hole.
But along I shall trudge -.-


A few bits on the News this week, the ridiculous amount of news about the use of the poppy...!
There has been odd stories around the UK of people not selling to customers if they wear poppies, or having poppies burnt, etc.
My question is... why? This also included the story that Football players at both the England vs Spain match and the Wales vs Norway match were originally not allowed to wear poppies on their jerseys.


"Oh No!!! We can't have you wearing the poppy!!! How dare you!!!..." (paraphrasing)


What? Are you STUPID!!!! It's a symbol!!!! It's a sign of respect to the dead war heroes of the past!!!
What the hell has it got to do with disrespecting the neutrality of football? If another country want to pay respect to their dead, by all means, why in the name of all that is holy should one be banned from such a thing?!


Anyway, onto movie news! The film this week is...Machine Gun Preacher.
Director Marc Forster does a brilliant job retelling the story of a man who is fighting a battle within himself and for the children of Africa. Based on a true story this film was absolutely heart wrenching, seeing one the manliest of men, Gerard Butler, break down into tears will officially make you feel like you wanna just go up and hug him.
The film has been done to a T with a brilliant cast showing. A film of drama, action as well as a family film... if everyone in your family is over the age of 15...


Women do not worry you will not be the only ones crying as there were plenty of men in the cinema crying when I saw it, though I wish I watched it at the IMAX because it was really worth seeing it there. Not a film for 3D though.
Those who do not like drama and expect some action I would definitely say... not your film.
It portrays a lot of action although the scenes are not as epic as you'd think, as they are mainly symbolic more than entertainment value if Forster was trying to balance the two, it was difficult and  don't think he quite got it.
Having watched the film you do feel like what your parents use to say to you is so true (stop complaining! There are starving children in Africa that don't even have a home!) and you end up hating yourself for your own selfishness and materialistic mind... well played mister Forster. In the end you feel the need to donate to charity too.
Although there is a heavy tone of Christianity which some people may find annoying, my little brother and his friends weren't too hot for the film with all the talk of Christianity but it showed the religion in a much brighter light considering what it has always been portrayed as in many films in the past.


All in all a good film, slightly depressing if you focus too much on the negative but you really do have to watch the film and see for yourself, it is almost a film to bring an epiphany.
So I give it an 8.5/10


Anywho, that is all and I shall see you... um... well.. never actually but I shall be back soon with more random crap to talk about! From me Andy Lai... Signing out :D

Uni is over and Halloween Approaches!!!

So I seem to have a problem with keeping up to date with these blogs but I think I'll get back on it!
However I will be changing it.
So everything I have done until now has been a bit unfathomable and impossible to understand.


I'm now 23, graduated from university with a bachelors in film and media prod & tech, and being a bachelor, until February, I'll be stuck at home. Always a fun time especially when the cats about, soon when my parents pass away, it will be me and the cat... and probably after a few more years I'll get some more.


And now here I am YAY!!!!


Big woop! Lets face it, this is where everything goes wrong. Since leaving university, it has been a little bit down hill. I have no job (sucks ass), I have no human contact (sucks ass), my parents are having to move which means I have to help fix up the house and sell the house as much as possible when people come (sucks ass) and... I'm broke (sucks balls and ass).


BUT ALL IS WELL IN THE LAND OF LAI!!! For I have found the light at the end of the tunnel!!! Halloween is approaching and I think we need to clarify the understanding of what we want to see at Halloween.
Ok so for the guys lets face it, we are all looking out for the girls dressed up in slutty costumes and wishing we were in them... did I say something wrong? no? didn't think so.
And girls... we know you want go out and get drunk, have a good night and try your hardest not to eat someone's face off which will inevitably happen because you're drunk and the guys out are out to pull so hard they give themselves a hernia; but come on!! Lets be honest, it is the one day where the girls get to be slutty and dress as they like without other girls bitching about what they're wearing and how much of a whore she looks.... right?... 'Cause I'm pretty sure that's what most guys are thinking they do right?... man we're shallow and retarded...
But what I really like to see is the effort in peoples costumes, yes I'm lame like that, when people come out all dressed up, I'd rather be looking at their outfit and saying whether they tried or not because you have to be in the spirit of the holiday!!!
THE SPIRIT OF THE HOLIDAY THAT IS HALLOWEEN!!!!!
I love seeing peoples costumes! The drunken craziness that they get into with the character they play. Although playing someone like Freddy Kruger or Jason may cause some problems if they get too into their characters... Texas Chainsaw Massacre dude could cause some problems too... hmmm... I wonder what would happen in a fight between Jason and Leatherface... Awesome...
But anyway, the holiday is a day to enjoy the ghostly stuff that happens! The day of getting ill the next day from sugary treats and tricks.
Has anyone ever given a trick instead of a treat at the door? Imagine walking to a magicians house and you get no sweets but some random guy pulling bunnies out of a hat and you don't even get to keep the bunny!! Worse house to trick or treat. Wait are you suppose to trick them?
In the UK Trick or Treating is actually band...I think... So we never got the pleasure of doing what you in the states are lucky enough to do.
Raid peoples houses for ridiculous amounts of sweets where some houses they give you an apple.
Imagine scaring the life out of children when they come to the door!! Wow my heads twisted, it will be for HALLOWEEN!!! >.<


Best Halloween costume I've had the pleasure of working with was the Ring, me I was a victim, a lovely gorgeous face got turned into the creepy girl that comes out of the TV and KILLS YOU!!!!!
Yes I am indeed awesome like that... I was dead...
It was simple anyway but it looked awesome!!! So this year I'm looking to top it!
Anyway!! Costume ideas!! So I'm going to be livin' it up in this Halloween as a doctor zombie!!!
I'm getting annoyed with the spell checker telling me halloween is spelt with a CAPITAL H!!!! Damn you!!
Well that's the main idea but just as a last minute resort, what to do?
I was thinking of going as my mother but I don't think she'd like that too much and I'd probably get hit on by a bunch of 40 yrs olds.
A right I never mentioned this! So the thing with the 40yrs olds is, EVERYTIME I go to Liquid in Worthing, I know you all know what crapper hole of a stink joint I'm talking about, I end up being hit on by someone old enough to be my mother... My last visit involved a 40 yrs old woman hitting on me and forcing their tongue down my throat while my friends sat and watched and laughed while I was attempting get away and strangle them. We got away, and I got a number.... of a Russian 40 yrs old who's chat up line was telling me, "You look like my husband! He is from Hong Kong, we're getting divorced, I have a 15yrs old son too, wan to dance?!" How is that a chat up line?!


Was she a Milf I hear you say?


NO!


Understand the word MILF does not include every mother who exists but those you would like to F**K! SHE was not one!!!
Anyway, hopefully with a disguise I do not attract such preying mantis'.






So I want to know what costumes people are thinking of wearing, what you getting up to and ask me a question and I will answer it with the utmost Chinese philosophy of England :D


From the Chinese Guy stranded on the Island over the Pond

Not for those without sense of Humour.. Seriously... Go Away

Say that, there somethings that should never have been said and somethings you should keep hush. It seems I'm terrible at that whole keeping quiet thing. God recognised that and gave me the inability to explain things. I remember from my days in Durrington First School I had this guy, who would turn out to be my best friend, translate for me. His name was Perry, useful fella at the time. Had the innate ability to explain everything and understand me, but you would be able to when you had a lisp which then came back on us as then people wouldn't actually know what he meant either. Anyway...

... Oh balls I forgot my point.

So I went and visited Manchester last weekend, was a lovely evening, ending in the test screening, was actually liked which was always good. Still I don't think I could be in front of the camera. Still, if someone turned around and asked me to play the lead role in a featured film with a salary that was more than the lottery I'd happily be bent over and be ruined!

No seriously though, who wouldn't, minus the latter...

It was nice to be able to get of Preston and not be fearful of waiting too long at a train station for an hour or taking a coach while someone snores next to you or you end up with a family of four chavvy family with parents that are unable to discipline there children without using the F word or the S word + "ing" as their main suffix. But you know I do enjoy the odd travel, especially on trains. You find some very strange and peculiar people. The last journey I took there was a woman with a pink wig, bright blue eye shadow and stupid amount of glitter on her face. Who would have thought Katie Price would take the train.

When I was on the train station looking aimlessly at the signs pointing to the way out, which was actually in front of me, I noticed the amount of police officers (that's right, there were women present too) that were just stood about. Apparently they were there as a normal day. Police at the train station stood there?! I thought they were some kind of welcoming group of workers dressed authoritatively to sing and serenade you as you leave. That would actually be amazing but instead they'd be standing there with one hand on a gun and another ready to push people back s they can stick their gun in your face, shout at you and say "WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!!" I know I would if I was given a gun and had some kind of power. Might as make use of it while you can.

They were saying on the deadly 50 or whatever that show was called, that the chameleon was one of these deadly predators. What exactly is so scary, unless they're like ninjas then I'd be terrified. Imagine that, police officers that had the ability of a chameleon. They'd just come out of no where and we'd all be safe :D

Or a Rabbit chameleon! They have brilliant eye sight thanks to all the carrots, with blending abilities they're take over the land!!! Their teeth are stupidly sharp for an animal that only eats vegetable and now they have the ability to stalk the cabbage before lunging in and tearing it to shreds!!! Their moto would actually be Hide and Seek the Leek!!

I just been watching that Philadelphia advert and they were cooking risotto, where the woman actually pronounce it as "rosotto", but the thing is she mentions how if she told her kids they were having leek and rice for dinner...

I'm sorry but why the hell would you separate the whole dish into 2 separate ingredients? AND why mention the vegetable?!?! Just say, we're having a funny chinese meal!!!

We're having rice and leek??? wtf? I'd say that now if my mum told me that!

Speaking of Chinese meals, That Uncle Ben's advert, MY GOD could you be more racist!! Who the hell told them it was a good idea to have chinese people flipping about over sweet and sour rice dish?!?! And why the hell does it show a bunch of Chinese guys as if thy've just come from the flippin circus?!?!?

Personally I'm insulted by that, and they cover it up by using a black guy on the front, its still racist from a black guy!! Just as much as it would be if I called a black guy the N word!!!!

But they like me so I can... well they seem to call me the N word so I assume I can... I could be wrong... I'm slightly afraid to try so I'll stick to calling them sir and madam... just in case.

I've totally lost track of where I was...

Ah the train station at Manchester! So I get off and staring at the police, I don't know about you but when I look about the police, I always feel like doing the Mr Bean thing and pretend I'm a dodgey fella that has something illegal or has some kind of offensive weapon like my face or something. Always wondered what would I do? Run or stand there like a lemming as they come over to tackle me down. that was be awesome!!

Anyway, I get to the Printworks? I think its called, and realise the only thing I recognise is a next store... they are actually everywhere now. It's like the new McDonalds of retail, expensive and you're not really particularly happy once you actually try it. Now next has actually become worse in fact, they've decided people are only allowed 16 hours a week even though they're understaffed and are hiring more people to cover the hours they cut from current staff.

Genius at work there as they're still understaff!!!! They actually lose more customers I swear, I went in about a month ago and saw a group of about 8 women stood wondering about the womens department looking for staff to help with shoes and obviously no one was about, I actually felt the need to help them out and do the job myself. But funny watching them look about like slow motion meerkats. Their heads kind of bobbing about. Think most of them went to River Island after that.

Probably get complaints from Staff of Next if they read this now. "Please hold, you're call is very important to me and you're actually being diverted to a guy who just shouts "I don't give a rats ass" :D

So anyway, from the Print works, I ended up calling Lorna to direct me to the TV21 which was apparently opposite my destination, after a stupid amount of bad signal and the thought that I just repel women with my voice, I ended up at my destination to find more BBC's :D

WOO!!! Go BBCs!!

For those who don't know, it stands for British Born Chinese. Yeah we were thinking of changing althat to EBC just because when we say British to anyone else outside England we get evil stares. European Born Chinese makes us sound more sophisticated, BBC makes us sound ignorant and arrogant. Yeah that's kind of what people stereotype English people as.

Welsh, Scottish and Irish, don't worry you're ok.

Actually no its more of a thing against those from London come to think of it. Foreigners seem to like northerners, just not southerners...hmm... that could be a problem...

Anyway, I got there early anyway and in the back was a small exhibition which featured a few things to were considered art. I've never been the greatest of artistic minds but a machine that was linking pads and pens together so that all you had to do was control one and it would print onto a load of others was a bit odd... since we have printers now-a-days... I might buy one and give them it as a christmas present or something.

You know what I'm getting knackered, I'll finish this another time.

Night guys... It's only 3.43

Time Has Passed

I went on a walk last night

To my surprise I was not surpassed in my own thought

Denied access to my own thought I created a world that did not exist

Even with my hands on the floor and my knees following

I was still thinking that there was more behind the invisible force that kept me from taking that first step out

I could splash the water against it

Hit it with my might yet still it stood tall as it always did

With no strength and with no weapon of mass destruction

My only choice would be my hands and feet

My head as hard as nails I would not let it stand in my way

I'm still stood here looking through that invisible force that puts light and lets me see

What I can have and what I can never hold

What the future has and what the world would dare do to me

Still my mind is else where in the form of a mat covered in colours of green, pink, blue and yellow

An odd combination as I never heard nor seen the true images that stand in the way of what I can handle

Mad at the world at myself and the world we call home

I was stood once again

Face to face with years to have passed

My skin has stretched to unbelievable transformation

From which the remaining parts both look and do not stand to seem the same as the once that was in the same body before

With longer hair

Eye sight as bad as ever

No thoughts still only with the need to survive

Only with the thought to take care of those around

I stand no chance to have a focal point

My mind wanders to great lengths but to find no wonder I wish to seek

Always finding nothing that makes me speak

Nothing to stand and make me quiver

Create an earthquake within my soul

I will not stand nor will I breath in

I will soon be the one sat in that seat

My eyes deceive once again

To see my reflection fall

Beauty was not an issue

Vanity isn't correct

The vanity of life and the vanity of the soul

How ugly mine truly is

I cannot hold the hatred I bring upon it

Nor the safety of the world

Could this really be saddening when you find that the wore person to be with is yourself

Replacing the demon that wishes the death of your soul to take over

I hold my ground still with this invisible force helping me see clearly its every move

I will hold my ground but let it out

Hold it down and Hold it up high

I will it

Will I

The Line Too Fine

One of each body has said this line was too fine to be seen
One of oppositions that binds the letters
The other of attraction that separates the worlds
Contradiction and binary link
One of one
The other of another
Set from a date that pre-dates our existence
When ties are made
With the help of others
Outside influence carries a message
When we read we think of possibility
Holding it forever in our hearts
Until it springs
From the start we analysed the situation
The pros and cons
What out-weighted the other
How it would change the future
Instead of waiting for the unexpected
Say what you don't want to have happen just to please yourself when it does
Yet be just as satisfied if doubt overwhelms and brings false hope to life
With the future foretold in your mind you wait for the rest to come
But complications arise in a life to complex
So committed in life and in future events that are yet to come
Foolish as I would turn out to be
I would not bend over backwards just to see what my future holds
I am not inclined nor shall I decline opportunity
But I will take chance and with chance I will gamble
Gamble not life
Gamble not money
But gamble the unseen, the unforeseeable and the strength to make a change
Each and every one will see the fatal flaw
I shall see it as the bridge to cross
Blinded are the flowers that stare at the sun
For their own needs reliant and incapable
Beauty as they can be, wither they cannot stand
Held on for as long as possible
Seasons of the second coming
I live with others and die by unknown land and unknown people
With unknown cause and unknown reason
On the deathbed they shall stand
With no words to say and no words of comfort
End of the world will not stand on my watch
The world will stand still for a split second
And I will see the future
Cause the future to bend in my will
For myself I will create it as I wish
For others I can only influence for better or worse
Until my undying days

There Are No Words, Just Heart

There Are No Words, Just Heart

No matter what you are before it starts
In the entry you will be someone different
Someone with glee and with a smile that does not diminish
Changes happen in unexpected places of your mind
Nothing can put you down
Each day the sun seems to shine
At the end of the day
The sun will always set
But it will wake up the next day to shine the brighter

The next day with a grin on your face
You look at a face so familiar
As if those days stretched for years
Everything seems to be unrealistic
However reality doesn't wish to bite back for once
Confused and glad you continue
Each day grows a little darker but minute it may be
The polished silver forever shines
Dust begins to collect
With a little spit shine and it gleams as it did before

Continuing on and on
Each memory slowly scales down the stalk that holds the house
Slipping every so often on the waxy leaves falling faster but clinging on
Trying to keep itself remembered
It will continue to fall
To lose grip
To lose strength to hold on any longer

Rust soon collects and the bright shine it once gave becomes too dull
The food once delicious becomes so bland
Dust begins to come to life
Shadows grow darker
Lights fade to hide away behind the cracks left behind by the fights
Each menace comes out one at a time
But this is when the floor disappears and you are left floating with the rest on wide screen for you to watch

Each day of life begins to descend
Each note reminds us all of a moment in time
Each time we reminisce we are thrown back a step
Finally each step we take we question

What had once happened in magic
That which was so special
One who made it possible
Once the better half now walks away
You are left to rebuild
Brick by brick you find yourself fixing it all up
But even the construction workers are lazy
You are left to build it yourself
With your own two hands